things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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