Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
wow bdsm is so cute
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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