Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
