In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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