He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She bit a glass in half.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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