Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sex in a hospital.. check
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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