Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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