please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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