Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
