Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
