I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
