have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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