But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I will be naked everywhere
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
