there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
