WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
