Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I will pee on everything he values.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
