ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
