I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
