My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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