Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
