he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We need to get me chipped asap
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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