You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
