everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
