go do what you do best...puke behind churches
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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