So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
