im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
