Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
