Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize