btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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