miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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