the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's always time for handjobs
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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