We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
