well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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