Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
