I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
