is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
