Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
