just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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