So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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