Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
