I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The air taste purple.
Randomize
