WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
