tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
