Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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