no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
