i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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