he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
