how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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