Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
