Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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