You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
