mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
