it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
