I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just tell him i said nine months
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
