you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
