i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
