if i can run in heels then i can drive
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize