it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
