Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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