No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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