sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
