; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
